Aw !@#*%

I hate potty training. I mean really hate it. That is probably why my twins are almost three and I've just begun. Camden's been in panties for three weeks now. It's going okay. Cadence is currently wearing her last diaper, and since I'm not buying anymore she'll start potty training today. Cold turkey. Probably should have started earlier in the day, but we've had some obstacles.

While in the kitchen stirring up powdered milk (eew) to mix with real milk (gotta stretch it) and prepping to make some much needed bread Cadence calls out, "Mom! I pooped on the floor and on my finger!" What?! I go into the front room and sure enough there was poop dripped across the floor. Her diaper was on funny and it'd pretty much missed it completely. Thankfully she was on the wood floor. Unthankfully she thought she needed to touch it (what goes through kid's heads?).

While cleaning up that mess, with the baby trapped on the other side of the gate to keep her out of the ickiness, we discussed where we're suppose to go potty. In the midst of this discussion Camden pooped in her panties. ARRRRRRG! Not once in three weeks of training have I gotten this kid to even try pooping in the toilet. Not one, single, solitary time! Everyday we're in the bathroom sloshing out icky underpants. Everyday I'm having to wipe up the aftermath of having her take care of her own mess. Every flippin' day we go through half a box of flushable wipes while she cleans herself up. I send her into the bathroom to take care of herself. Which she did not do. I caved in my frustration and ended up cleaning most of it up for her.

While this was going on Wrigley decided to join the potty party and made a messy diaper herself. Fortunately that one was easy to clean up. Not to mention no one expects a 10 month old to use the potty. But she kept crawling into the bathroom where Camden was creating more of a mess than we started with. I finally stuck her in the walker to keep her out to the way.

Finally the majority of the bathroom mess was taken care of. I gave Camden some clean panties and went on a sanitation inspection of the bathroom and catch what she missed. Yuck. I'm so tired of poop! I hate it getting all over the place. I hate it getting on my hands when I have to double check her cleaning job. I hate cleaning it off everything every day. Am I really going to add a second potty trainee today?

Ugh. Damage control complete I walk back into the kitchen with a crying baby following behind me to see the twins have ripped open packets of Cream of Wheat and scattered their contents across my newly cleaned kitchen! That was the last straw. I was so mad! I sent them both to time out. I couldn't have them in the room to clean it up themselves. So with an unhappy baby constantly running into the back of my bare heals with her walker, I swept up the mess and tossed it into the trash. I put the baby to bed, threw some clothes at the twins, and finally sat down to eat my now cold oatmeal. I'm still fuming.

The twins are upstairs doing who knows what at this moment. I don't even want to go up there to find out. I'm totally uninspired to do anything now. Can the bread wait?